i am one again. it seems that a part of me never left, and stayed here, in pain, missing itself. i am back. my left support casts a shadow, a moon shadow, a distant horse fights with it's already heavy load. the stars. never seen the stars in the city so clearly as tonite. the moon, trying to overcome the clearness of the night. futile attempt, hopefully. another horse, but this time it carries anyhting but hope. the night is awaken. the city is not sleeping. it's the first time in a long time i come back this early, satisfied, but empty. orion, my guide, my alibi, my stars. by foot the city was broken in. noone there, nobody here, everything but crowds.and i am back, with the parfume of croaissants in the air, with the moon casting the shadows of my fingers over the matrix of symbols that never fade. and not to be forgotten, my bagatelle is here. tired. planes i hate too much. and i recall the time you made me feel like this, the peace , the satisfaction, the completeness. i am there again, with my carryall heart. i hit my head against the back wall. this is not an exit. and in such a clear sky i see no shooting stars. the explanation is simple. my shooting star is starring her own story right now.
generation in the void. a constellation of remembrances spawns a presence. a system of feelings orbiting arround your persistant image. volatile feelings, captured by the simplicity of your ability to express yourself. the gravity of your character, that everything attracts and accelerates towards you, breaking any rule or law that science dares to declare. distance boosts the effect and your virtual presence becomes clear.
soft. like velvet. softer. the tips of my fingers flying just above, amazed by your shape, trying to find a place to land. your skin is the materialization of your charm.
and now my mind starts cheating. she is the dreamer within. she hides the sun with my thumb. she is always writing a parallel script, where all the actors perform their roles to my delight. strategies, lies, plots, conspiracy. everything there to support her show, my dream. and she keeps me in her lie, our wish, my hope. the drug that makes me dream with my eyes open. the force that keeps my hand away from the switch.
rain in my roof. the sun never came into my room, but it must be shinning on someone else's. i can still feel the heat. the rays you projected enlightened my hope. you exist. you are somewhere, hidden, waiting. left your cave and came out, stoned. will you remember me? incense brought you, and it showed me which string to pull. plastic bags in trees, amelie, waves that don't want to leave and my answer was the same your father gave you. in a puzzled mind a treasure found and lost. what you gave me can fill my void for an eternity, but only knowing that in this eternity lies our crossroad. your outline is already gone. just gestures remain. your posture. your smile. the shaking of your head with your eyes drowning in the grass when trying to make your point. just one sad feeling: anxiety. finding you again is just in the hands of fate. rain stopped in my roof. now, it's in my eyes.
difficult enough but inspiring. challenges. all could be so much easier, but i don't want it that way. lazy all the time, my shortest path devotion covers everything but emotions.